This is the extent of my St. Patty’s Day celebration and the wearin’ o’ the green. The last few slurps of my Super Deluxe And Totally Awesome Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup. With chicken so tender, and broth so flavorful and zippy, so spicy in fact, you should be sweating, just looking at this spoonful of golden goodness.
I realize that not everybody has the time and inclination to whip up a batch of something that will improve your health and more than likely put a spring in your step. Seriously, if a 58 year old, white male from the frozen north, where only white food and jello were allowed to be eaten, can whip up something like this, you have no excuses. None. Sure, Helen Keller might want to think twice about attempting to work a gas stove and serrano peppers, but the rest of you? Get with the program. I expect to hear back from each and every one of you, on your successes and sure, a few failures of making this totally awesome soup. Sniveling that the soup is too hot is not an acceptable excuse for not trying. You are supposed to suffer in life, not get fat and collect welfare.
Pro Tip: When cutting jalapeno and serrano peppers, don’t, and I mean DON’T touch any part of your face or other sensitive areas of your body, ever. Once you get that stuff on your hands it’s there for life. You might want to talk to Helen about how to deal with a handicap, umm, better yet, just wear disposable gloves.
Second Pro Tip: While simmering the soup, your eyes and lips may experience some burning, similar to being pepper sprayed like some vagrant hippy at some totally useless protest. This is normal and not to be concerned about.
I return you now back to your humdrum and boring corned beef and cabbage, which I’m told, the Irish don’t even eat. Only us Yanks who thought we were stealing a swell idea for dressing up in green and acting stupid. Like we needed an excuse.